Emptiness. Pain. Ignorance. Numbness. Lack. Relief. Hopelessness. Loss. Anger. Don’t mean to be poetic, these are just some of the feelings I’ve been having in these past few weeks. Now I can say that I will survive this somehow. Now I am able to mask my feelings perfectly. I am on the way to not having any feelings at all… ever again. Read More
I have totally and completely become a believer… I believed that I am capable to have a normal relationship. I believed that there is someone who can love me for a very long time. I believed that I don’t have to be alone. I believed that I can have children, and… wait for it, an almost proper wedding. Read More
I have been absent for almost a year, and I know I should constantly be writing, however either I was too busy, or I was too happy… or I was too busy being happy. However now I feel like I need to write about some things. Read More
6 months have passed since my How to be single post, and here we are… happy, excited, confused, but definitely not single.
Details: I just finished my exams (my last one was really great), and that meant that I officially got through the first three years of medical school. 3 more to go! After that, we got a little bit drunk and started talking about our feelings etc. One of my friends had problems about being lonely, she was crying, so I had to comfort her. I made such a good and honest speech about single life and why it’s great. I truly meant it. Read More
I feel like this is the time when everyone around me questions whether they are in the right place. I mostly mean my medical friends (including me), but others too. Our naive bubble kinda popped, and all we have now is… is it worth it? I’ve already written about the conditions, now we realised that… we have to work really hard. Residents have to work 12 hours every day (80+ hours/week, a normal job is 40 hours/week). Read More
When I write about this, it’s because loneliness hits me… but mostly I’m totally fine with being single.
One of my very close friends broke up with her boyfriend several weeks ago. She’s 21 like me and since she was 14, she hasn’t been alone for a day! She is not able to be alone. Addicted to relationships. She’s clearly not over her previous boyfriend, but all she can think about is who is gonna be the next (the One). Read More
As a Hungarian medical student, I’m in a very difficult situation. This topic is always alive and although I’m still so far from actually making this decision, I feel like I need to talk about it. Staying or leaving? I WOULD stay, I really would, if the system let me. I can only see the current situation and I don’t wanna be pessimistic but I just don’t see anything changing for the better in 3-4 years. Obviously, the main problem is that there is not enough money to keep hospitals going (renovations are needed EVERYWHERE, new equipment, medicine etc), hire enough staff (therefore not just the doctors, but the nurses are really overloaded – 1 nurse for 40 unaware patients is absolutely ridiculous). They work 12-14 unbelievably exhausting hours, they get upset and sometimes rude, they burn out and they don’t even get the money they deserve. Read More
I successfully passed all my exams (pathology, pathophysiology, microbiology, immunology, surgical studies, internal medical propadeutics, medical psychology&communication), I finished them on January 15th – this really is a big deal! Honestly, I concentrated more on passing than studying every single thing, I felt bad about this but my average is still “good” (4.0). Again – I made a promise to myself – I’m gonna study harder this semester. Read More
I was walking my dog today in the fresh snow, and I remembered something. Back in 2012, I went to a chemistry camp (yeah, imagine 9 hours of chemistry every day, and 4*1,5 km walk to the place where you get food.). It was wintertime with a lot of snow. 30-40 cm snow in Hungary is rare. Next to the sideways, the snow was piled up in big and nice piles. Read More
I just realised that this title might sound depressed, but HELL NO. Listen to this, while reading.
Travelling. It’s something I haven’t done much but I definitely want to do it more. I’m a student, I don’t gain much money but from this moment, I will try to save up for something. Where? I don’t exactly know. My current dream is to travel around Iceland, and spend days skiing. Last year, when we were in Nice (French Riviera, no big deal), we were talking about how breathtakingly amazing it would be a ski slope down to the sea. And you know what’s in Iceland? Ski resorts by the sea. Read More